James Bond?
by Captain Alfie
Summary: The Marauders play at being James Bond when they return to Hogwarts from the Christmas holidays and Lily isn't impressed. Not until they all visit the cinema together four and a half years later, anyway. Lily's POV. Another silly oneshot.


_A strange little idea I had... I can't remember when but it was after I went to see the latest Bond movie. Also inspired by the song 'James Bond' by Scouting for Girls. It's not too obvious at the start but most of this (all of it apart from the part at the end) is written in Lily's POV. A note... I know Americans say movie... it seems to be a more British thing to say film (not totally sure, but it seems to be) but the Marauders' ain't American ;]  
Before you read this, I'd just like to say I know as good as nothing about James Bond. My knowledge of the books is nil, and the films... let's just say I know the actors as Roger and Sean and Timmy and George and Daniel and Peirce thanks to Scouting for Girls. I've seen the latest film, but the rest of this is the probably slightly skewed veiw of James Bond from an English schoolgirl and research. So forgive me if it makes no sense for the James Bond of the seventies/James Bond at all. I do care a bit about historical accuracy in my oneshots, though (sometimes I think I may the only one, though... call me strange, but I do find myself getting annoyed when people mention fairly modern songs/other stuff in fanfics that wouldn't have existed at the time) so I did some research before I started this. The main part of the fic is set just after the christmas holidays in the maruaders' fourth year, making it 1975. 'The Man with the Golden Gun' was released December 14th, 1974, so they would have been able to see it in the holidays. The film that they went to see in June 1979 was Moonraker =] If I've got anything obviously wrong here, please, please correct me. All my information came from Wiki. _

_I don't own any of these characters or James Bond, we have the amazing Ms Rowling and Mr. Fleming for that._

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**JAMES …BOND?**

We came back from the Christmas holidays hoping that during the time we had been away the Marauders had finally seen the light and grown up a bit (mentally rather than physically – Potter and Black, at least, were more than tall enough for fourteen already). Unfortunately for us (me especially), it wasn't to be. In the summer, someone had had the bright idea of introducing them to muggle cinema, and during the holidays they had visited the nearest muggle town to Potter's house and gone to the cinema. And guess what they went to see? James Bond. Oh, of course they loved it, but honestly that isn't a film you let the four – or three, really, I can't bring myself to count Remus in this, he's alright a lot of the time – most immature fourteen-year-old-boys see.

So, thanks to Mr. Moore, Potter and Black arrived in the common room declaring they had licences to kill and convinced they were irresistible members of the British secret service. As usual, Peter, and I'm afraid to say Remus was well, were more than happy to join in the game. I had just about prepared myself for an evening of this, when they all disappeared up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. I knew them well enough now not to hope that they were getting an early night and would leave us alone, so I just had to hope that they weren't planning something too stupid.

It didn't take too long for me to find out. They spoon appeared at the bottom of the stairs again greeted by wolf-whistles and laughter from everyone else in the common room. When I looked up at them, I couldn't help rolling my eyes.

They were all now wearing formal, black and while evening dress: Black and Pettigrew wearing black dress robes instead of their school ones and black bow ties had replaced the standard Gryffindor red and gold. Remus and Potter had the same bow ties, but they were wearing black muggle suits. Surely this was getting over the top? But they hadn't finished yet. After waiting a moment for Potter to take off his glasses and shove them into his trouser pocket, they each pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses and put them on.

Black had soon been mobbed by his usual fan girls, and Remus and Peter's new attire was getting them some apprising looks, too. Potter, however, pushed aside (and I mean literally pushed – he can't even treat his admirers with any respect) the girls swarming around him and started making his way over to me. I thought I had realised too late that there was a space on the sofa next to me, but he didn't sit down straight away. Instead he stood in front of me looking ridiculously pleased with himself.

"Why, good evening, Miss Evans." his voice was filled with false formality, and he obviously thought his smile was charming and sophisticated. Far from it, it made him look even more arrogant and ridiculous than normal, although a lot of the girls around me didn't seem to agree.

"Leave me alone, Potter." I already knew it wasn't going to work, but I wanted to get it into his stupidly thick skull that I didn't like him and wasn't, and never would be, interested in dating him.

He pushed his dark glasses down his nose slightly with one finger so he could look over the top of them, and his smile turned into an amused smirk. "Not Potter," he said with an air of explaining something obvious. He paused slightly, and when he spoke again he used that infuriating mock-formal, over dramatic tone he had used before. "The name's Bond. James Bond."

The other girls around me (even Alice, who had just lifted her head off Frank's shoulder) giggled, but I didn't really think it was funny. It was mainly the fact that it was James bloody amazing irresistible quidditch player turned secret agent Potter that was making them giggle: I knew for a fact that most of them were pureblood (and therefore raised by wizards so not knowing much about muggles) and hadn't even heard of James Bond until today.

"Well then, Mister _Bond_," I said sarcastically, aware of how cold my voice was, "you aren't as tall as I expected you to be…" at this he stood up straight and drew himself up to his full higher than average, but still far from adult, height, "and you do look remarkably like Potter… and you're with his friends, talking with his voice and being as stupid and arrogant as him, so you're doing a pretty good act."

That stupid smirk stayed on his face as he sat down next to me, apparently unaffected by what I had said. I hadn't expected him to be, though, that boy's skin seems to be made of stone (along with his heart sometimes, by the looks of things). "Evans, Evans, Evans," I was struggling not to hit him by now, "don't you like our little game? I'm quite enjoying it, myself."

"No I am not," I moved slightly closer to Alice, away from Potter.

"Did I hear that correctly?" Black had somehow managed to leave a good proportion of the girls with Remus and was now standing behind Potter, "Evans isn't enjoying herself?"

"No," I snapped, making to stand up, but Potter put his hand on my arm and pulled me back down.

"You don't get it, do you, Evans?" He asked, smirking in a way that made me dread finding out what I didn't get.

"What?" I snapped, wrenching my arm out of his grip.

"Surely you've seen a James Bond film?"

"Yeah…" I still wasn't sure what he was getting at, but I had seen the two previous films with some childhood friends, so I had to agree.

"So you should get it," he sounded as if he had finished, but I just gave him a blank look, so he continued. "I'm James Bond," I was about to interrupt then, he must have known because he carried on rather quickly, "and you are a beautiful girl…"

"Even if you are out of focus, seeing as the idiot isn't wearing his glasses," Sirius butted in.

"Whatever, she's still beautiful," Potter countered before continuing his explanation, leaving me no time to comment on this discussion of my looks, "So I can't just leave without…" He smirked slightly and moved closer to me, making it quite obvious what he was thinking of.

I smirked slightly myself, letting him get within inches of kissing me before slapping him hard across the face. He winced and sat back, while Black just laughed at him. I stood up, and as I left the common room I could just about make out the last of Black and Potter's conversation.

"You chose a feisty one, that's for sure."

"Yeah, but I bet that never happens to Bond…"

_In June 1979, the four Marauders took Lily to the nearest muggle town to go to the cinema. It was a special occasion for them, a night off from their work with the Order. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all wore black muggle suits and bow ties, and Lily wore a short black dress. After the film, they stood in the empty town square watching the sunset. After waiting a moment for James to take of his glasses and shove them into his trouser pocket, the four young men took pairs of dark sunglasses out of their pockets and put them on. Lily laughed, remembering that day back in fourth year, and she finally let James finish his James Bond stunt from almost five years ago. _

_As they broke apart, James leaned forwards again and whispered in her ear. "Any regrets?"_

"_That's not professional," she whispered back before kissing him again. _

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Review S'il vous plaît? I really want to know what you think =]


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